Where do I start really? Sometimes life has a way of surprising us and making us rethink the purpose of our previous state of thoughts. For those of you who don't know, July 16th I had emergency surgery to remove my gal bladder. Not expected at all totally out of the blue. It all started about 12:30am I woke up in so much pain I could barely breath let alone talk, I called for my companion in the little amount of breath I had and finally she heard me. I told her we had to go down to Sister Hansen's apt she is a nurse. So I stumbled down there not really able to walk much either and the pain got worse, then I started throwing up more then I ever have in my life.Being me I tried to fight it and tell myself I could battle the pain I was going to be ok, but the pain was getting more intense and I was really loosing my breathing now. I prayed and prayed and finally said this is it I have to go, so now 5 hours later we called the assistants and I was rushed to the hospital. I couldn't even make it through the ER doors without throwing up in my bowl I was loosing all my energy as well. They took me back right away and I didn't get pain meds for an hour so a laid there with an IV in my arm still in pain throwing up. The doctor finally came in and I went to ultra sound where they found out my gal bladder was the big problem. We made the decision I would get it out then. After giving me some pain meds I started to be a little more calm but the pain didn't go away, so they had to give me something pretty intense which I was totally ok with ha. President came and gave me a blessing with President Harmen and I started to feel better, I knew this was yet another trial I would have to face to bring me closer to the Savior. I remember the feeling of waiting for the surgery totally out of if almost because of the medications but I started to think how really life jumps up and I never thought I would have to face another physical trial after my medical release. As they wheeled me into the O.R. my thoughts began to race and that's when I was told you might die and everything if things go wrong ha really comforting right before you go in right ha. But my doctor says, Jenna your a missionary for him you have extra help don't you worry. Only in a LDS hospital would that happen but still it meant a lot cause I was getting nervous. I lay there outside the O.R. and I prayed with everything I had, Father you have to stay with me I cant do this alone, then I started to hymn Nearer My God to Thee and felt peace.
(she looks 100% out of it)
I remember looking up at my doctor smiling with tears in my eyes just fell asleep, next thing I knew it was over and I felt like someone might have run me over with their car. And when I was coming out of surgery I was convinced I was a different race haha kinda funny side note the nurse was laughing. Sadly I cant laugh right now unless I hold my stomach and it sounds like I'm fake laughing actually haha. Recovery hasn't been the cutest thing that's for sure, the next day after surgery I spent most of it on the floor throwing up let me tell you that feels great after having your stomach taken apart!! Then I got jaundice ha I'm a baby again but only on my legs so its ok in fact it made me look more tan for summer so its ok! Everyday I'm getting a little stronger but still pretty week, especially after the elevator broke and I had to walk down stairs, not cool!! I do remember one thing though I forgot, when they were taking me to the O.R. the nurse said wow your really calm and she wasn't a member and I was able to say even without thinking, that's cause God is on my side. And I really knew that he was.
I remember looking up at my doctor smiling with tears in my eyes just fell asleep, next thing I knew it was over and I felt like someone might have run me over with their car. And when I was coming out of surgery I was convinced I was a different race haha kinda funny side note the nurse was laughing. Sadly I cant laugh right now unless I hold my stomach and it sounds like I'm fake laughing actually haha. Recovery hasn't been the cutest thing that's for sure, the next day after surgery I spent most of it on the floor throwing up let me tell you that feels great after having your stomach taken apart!! Then I got jaundice ha I'm a baby again but only on my legs so its ok in fact it made me look more tan for summer so its ok! Everyday I'm getting a little stronger but still pretty week, especially after the elevator broke and I had to walk down stairs, not cool!! I do remember one thing though I forgot, when they were taking me to the O.R. the nurse said wow your really calm and she wasn't a member and I was able to say even without thinking, that's cause God is on my side. And I really knew that he was.
(Jenna in her evening gown)
So as I've had a lot of time to think, I've come to understand how everything I've faced on this mission has shaped me to be more life the Savior. Although these moments are confusing I'm grateful for them cause I feel closer then I have before. And I don't know if its cause I've been on medications or laying here for a week but I really don't think heaven is that far away. This week I came to understand heaven is where your heart is, where the spirit can talk to you, and where you listen to your father. Two nights ago I couldn't sleep so I got up and tried to kneel to speak to my Father. It was amazing how I had just enough strength to kneel and pray and then after a while I lost it. But for a moment I knelt and prayed for clarity for love and strength. I know I wasn't alone in that room I could feel it and tears came into my eyes because I realized again who I was, and what I was doing. I want you all to know how humbled I am to be a representative of Jesus Christ. I've learned eternal lessons that I could have never learned anywhere else, I love this gospel because its a gospel of Hope. Nothing we face in this life goes unnoticed, everything has a purpose and as we look to our Father we will find it. It's not easy being in the field and having to take a seat on the bench, to sit out a game. But the Lord has given me a glimpse of the whole picture cause I got to see it all not just the part of the game I was in, I'm learning from taking a step back. I miss my investigators and actually have pushed myself to go to the square a little at a time so I can talk to them. I received a blessing and was reminded I must be patient. I want to share one of my favorite quotes..
" When you are compelled to give up something, or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."
I've learned this lesson, this mission has been withdrawn from me at different times but now the second time I know God always fulfills his promises. I'm not mad this happened or ask why me, rather I ask what am I suppose to learn how can I grow? I've learned more then I ever thought possible and have 6 more months to learn more! I love this gospel and love being a missionary all of it ha even this crazy part!
So as I've had a lot of time to think, I've come to understand how everything I've faced on this mission has shaped me to be more life the Savior. Although these moments are confusing I'm grateful for them cause I feel closer then I have before. And I don't know if its cause I've been on medications or laying here for a week but I really don't think heaven is that far away. This week I came to understand heaven is where your heart is, where the spirit can talk to you, and where you listen to your father. Two nights ago I couldn't sleep so I got up and tried to kneel to speak to my Father. It was amazing how I had just enough strength to kneel and pray and then after a while I lost it. But for a moment I knelt and prayed for clarity for love and strength. I know I wasn't alone in that room I could feel it and tears came into my eyes because I realized again who I was, and what I was doing. I want you all to know how humbled I am to be a representative of Jesus Christ. I've learned eternal lessons that I could have never learned anywhere else, I love this gospel because its a gospel of Hope. Nothing we face in this life goes unnoticed, everything has a purpose and as we look to our Father we will find it. It's not easy being in the field and having to take a seat on the bench, to sit out a game. But the Lord has given me a glimpse of the whole picture cause I got to see it all not just the part of the game I was in, I'm learning from taking a step back. I miss my investigators and actually have pushed myself to go to the square a little at a time so I can talk to them. I received a blessing and was reminded I must be patient. I want to share one of my favorite quotes..
" When you are compelled to give up something, or when things that are dear to you are withdrawn from you, know that this is your lesson to be learned right now. But know also that, as you are learning this lesson, God wants to give you something better."
I've learned this lesson, this mission has been withdrawn from me at different times but now the second time I know God always fulfills his promises. I'm not mad this happened or ask why me, rather I ask what am I suppose to learn how can I grow? I've learned more then I ever thought possible and have 6 more months to learn more! I love this gospel and love being a missionary all of it ha even this crazy part!
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